If you could have any superpower, what would it be? Most people would probably say something like flight, super-strength, super-speed, or teleporting. With all the fun, colorful comic book characters out there, there are a ton of unique and interesting special abilities to choose from…and then there are a few strange ones, too. While not always useless, there’s no denying that they’re just plain surreal! So, let’s take a look at the seven weirdest superhero superpowers in comics and see just how insane the world of comic books can be.
Talking to Squirrels (Squirrel Girl)
Meet Doreen Green, aka Squirrel Girl. She was born with a squirrel tail and a few squirrel- abilities to boot, including the ability to talk with the little furry creatures. Now some of you may be thinking, “What about Aquaman? He talks to fish, so shouldn’t he have this spot?” Well, Aquaman’s signature power was close to making this list, but because his telepathy reaches out to a large array of sea life (like sharks or giant squids) I had to give the weird spot to Squirrel Girl’s “Squirrelese”. Just the idea of having a real conversation with the same little guys burying acorns in your front yard is a little odd. So why is it so high on the list? Well, believe or not, it’s really effective! Squirrel Girl has taken down the likes of Doctor Doom and Thanos with nothing but her wits, rodent reflexes, and a whole lot of squirrels. Who would’ve guessed the bane of all evil would be cute woodland critters?
Eat Everything! (Matter-Eater Lad)
I had a dream once that the whole world became an all you can eat buffet. Crazy, right? Well, for Matter-Eater Lad from the Legion of Superheroes, this is a reality. Coming from the planet Bismoll, his alien biology lets him eat pretty much everything from stone to wood, and even metal; it’s all just one big meal for Matter-Eater Lad. Unconventional and a little goofy, sure, but it is good for getting through certain obstacles. While poor Ten-Zil has been a bit unpopular in the comics, comic book fans still remember him for his weird case of the munchies. And hey, who knows; maybe walls and wooden doors taste good with the right amount of barbecue sauce.
Your Arms Do What? (Arm-Fall-Off Boy)
Okay, some of you probably knew this one would be on here; we have yet another bizarre one from the Legion of Superheroes. Arm-Fall-Off Boy’s ability is right in his name; he can detach his arms and then use them as clubs to fight with. So basically, he has all the powers of a broken action figure. Definitely don’t try this one at home, kids! Having even less appearances than Matter-Eater Lad, there’s no denying Arm-Fall-Off Boy’s power is one of the silliest in comic book history.
My Superpower Has 31 Flavors! (Eye-Scream)
So get this: I was researching weird superpowers for this article to see if the list I had at the time wasn’t missing anything and then I found Eye-Scream. As soon as I saw him I knew he had to be on this list; it would be such a crime not to include him. Eye-Scream is a mutant who gets jealous of the X-Men one day and plots to destroy them for making him feel useless. So what’s his power then? He can turn into any flavor of ice cream. And no, I’m not even kidding. His weaknesses probably included a hot summer day and anyone with a sweet-tooth. Of all the powers this poor guy could’ve gotten and it ended up being “ice cream powers”. Eye-Scream’s special ability stands out in this list by being the most unhelpful power imaginable, seeing as he could probably do more damage to the X-Men by not using his mutant “gift” at all. Delicious, but it’s not at all effective.
Rainbow Fingers/Mini-Supes (Superman)
Way back in the good old Silver Age of comics, writers were giving Superman just about every power you could imagine, and trust me when I say just about all of them were strange. However, there’s one in particular that really takes the super-cake. On the cover of 1958’s Superman #125 we see the man of steel using a new power: rainbow fingers! Well, after reading the comic, it turns out the good Mr. Kent’s new power isn’t really shooting rainbows, but instead shooting a mini Superman clone from his hand. Either way you look at it, these powers are just silly for anyone to have, let alone Superman. Thankfully, the event comic Crisis on Infinite Earths undid a lot of Superman’s goofier powers. This is for the best, because Man of Steel would’ve been a much different movie if those powers stuck around.
Imagine for a second that you’re a mutant. Everyone you know will probably turn on you for being born different; people you care about get targeted by anti-mutant extremists, and all you have for consolation is a superpower of your very own. Now imagine that power was acid vomit, and suddenly being a mutant is ten times worse. Guess Eye-Scream wasn’t the only mutant to get a bum deal from the superpower wagon, was he? Poor Zeitgeist of the X-Force was cursed with all the horrible things mutants face, plus having to constantly throw up whenever he saw some action. I can only imagine the burning in his throat every time he had to use his powers. Not fun. You’d definitely need to carry breath mints everywhere when you have this superpower.
Cocaine-Fueled Superpowers?! (Snowflame)
So after seeing all these other strange superpowers, what could possibly top them? Well, meet Snowflame, whose powers included superhuman strength, speed, resistance to pain, and pyrokinesis which he received from snorting cocaine. Not only that, but he could also give people a contact high just by touching them. I am completely serious; this is actually too dumb to make up! His drug-fueled power was just insane by itself, but it was even more insane considering someone was paid to write it, and then someone else was paid to draw it. The result was an unpopular New Guardians series that gave us one of the most hilariously over the top villains to ever appear in a comic. Sadly for Snowflame, he was killed off in the same issue he was introduced in, but he lived on as a cult favorite among comic book fans and even got his own fan web-comic, too.
Did you enjoy this list? What do you think of these odd superpowers? Was there one that I missed? Also, if you could have one weird superpower, what would it be? Let me know below!