Look, we’re analyzing the new Wonder Woman trailer because its overwhelming suffusion of awesome-ness left us moderately paralyzed. We need to work through the gorgeous color pallet, creeping darkness, and depressing machinations of man so we can call it a day and sleep soundly tonight. So, here are the thirteen things that aroused our curiosity, and induced a prodigious colony of goosebumps to rise from our trembling, nervous, but sincerely overjoyed skin-stuff. And yes, our skin-stuff is an emotional organ.
1. Currently, the World Makes Wonder Woman Very Sad.
We start off with Wonder Woman in the present, reflecting on the world now and its ostensible beauty, but underlying cruelty. This leads to further reflection on her first introduction to said world, initiated by the unexpected arrival of Steve Trevor….and, unfortunately, his enemies.
2. The Amazons Are a Great and Powerful Race….
3. …But Man’s Implements of Destruction Took Them By Surprise.
4. What’s the Mission? To Stop the War. What War? The War to End All Wars. DUH!!
Which will be fought with “weapons far deadlier than you could ever imagine.” Like THIS:
5. And She Has Something to Do with It!
6. SO DOES HE!
7. She Cannot Stand By While Innocent Lives Are Lost!
8. Who Is This Woman? Why, She’s…uh….a Secretary! A Very Good Secretary!
9. It’s Her Sacred Duty to Defend the World, and That’s Exactly What She’ll Do.
10. Who Is This Villain Deserving of the Lasso of Truth??
11. And Just How Powerful Is This Villain?
I mean, Wonder Woman just slammed him or her into the roof of a building with enough force to make it go….. KABOOOM!
12. Seriously, She’s Kicking Some Major @$$!!
13. Oh, and Then She Flies, and Conducts a Staggering Amount of Energy.
So, what was your favorite part of the new Wonder Woman trailer? LET’S HEAR IT!
Based on the legendary character created by William M. Marston, Wonder Woman is Directed by Patty Jenkins and written by Jason Fuchs, starring Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Connie Nielsen, Robin Wright, and Lisa Loven Kongsli. Wonder Woman hits theaters, Minotaurs, Centaurs and possibly Ares on June 2, 2017!