Casting the Perfect J. Jonah Jameson: 3 Candidates for Spider-Man’s Famous Detractor

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Show me a person who said they didn’t love the first two Sam Rami Spider-Man movies, and I will show you a liar. The stories were great; the villains were memorable, and the cast was perfect. In particular, one role may have risen above the rest… that being J. Jonah Jameson.

It's J.K. Simmons!
It’s J.K. Simmons!

It wasn’t just that J.K. Simmons looked the part (he did). It wasn’t just that he sounded the part (I mean come on!). J.K. Simmons took a small-part character and turned it into a scene-stealing behemoth when he became the Editor-in-Chief of the Daily Bugle. He was such a perfect casting choice… that Jameson didn’t even appear in either of the Amazing Spider-Man movies.

Now, we live in a world where we have a new Spider-Man movie coming out; unfortunately, it’s without J.K. These are sad times indeed. But what if I told you there’s still a chance, still a chance Simmons could put on that wig, chomp on that stogie and bring Jameson back to life.

In speaking with Entertainment Tonight at Spirit Awards (see video above), Simmons responded to a petition going around wanting him to reprise the role of J. Jonah Jameson.

“That petition does not come from anybody that is in a position to actually do anything about it.”

Ok. That doesn’t sound too promising, but there’s more.

“Doing those movies with Sam (Rami) is one of the great joys of my career. It was a super fun character. I’ll never close the door on anything.”

So you’re telling me there’s a chance?!? Since his time at the helm of The Bugle, Simmons has gone onto bigger and better things (including winning an Oscar for Whiplash). Despite the constant smile when talking about Jameson, his time as the character has most likely passed. So, who gets to don the mustache? Who can bring as much energy and gravitas to the role? Here are three people I think could fill in just nicely.

1. Alec Baldwin

Casting the Perfect J. Jonah Jameson!
Alec Baldwin could do it!

Why not go big with a recasting?? Alec Baldwin is practically a household name (as opposed to Simmons when he was originally cast). He also has the acting chops to pull off the Jameson role. If you need some convincing, take a look at Baldwin’s Emmy winning performance as NBC executive Jack Donaghy in 30 Rock. He was both funny and condescending… and the character had a delusional grandeur. That sounds like J. Jonah Jameson to me.

Let’s not forget that Baldwin isn’t above playing a Marvel character. He previously mentioned that he spoke with Marvel about playing a villain, but the scheduling didn’t work. We can rectify that situation by letting Baldwin take control of the Daily Bugle while busting Peter Parker’s chops in the process.

2. Hugh Laurie

Casting the Perfect J. Jonah Jameson
House can do it!

Need an authority figure with the ability to role his eyes and constantly put down Peter Parker? Then look no farther than Dr. House. Laurie is a perfect choice for someone who can do a lot without a great deal of screen time. Like Baldwin, he is another actor who can make Jameson loud and fun without making him campy. Plus, he should be considered on every list… after that apparent casting list made the rounds online last year (that list did predict Tom Holland as Spider-Man… but is also said Jason Biggs would be Scorpion).

3. Nick Offerman

Casting the Perfect J. Jonah Jameson
He will do the least amount of work necessary!

Let’s ask a serious question here: following Simmons performance as J. Jonah Jameson, do we need another loud, angry version of the character? What about a more subdued, passive-aggressive incarnation? If that’s the case, let’s bring Nick Offerman on board.

As Park and Recreation‘s Ron Swanson, Offerman played the manliest-man-who-ever-manned. Bring in that bravado and confidence to the role of Jameson and it’s a guaranteed win. Sure, he won’t be as loud, but what he lacks in volume Offerman will bring with authoritativeness. Plus that mustache… look at that mustache!!!

*Bonus Pick* – J.K. Simmons

Hey… if Simmons won’t rule out a return to the role… THEN NEITHER WILL I!!!