Five Reasons Why Superman Fans Will Leave the Theater Crying


We all know that Batman v Superman is coming out March 25th, 2016, but nobody wants to admit the truth. I mean, we know what’s really going to happen here; you’re going to see Batman and Wonder Woman kick #@% and take names, while Superman stands there like a super-dope getting in the way of all that awesome Batman/Wonder Woman action.

Here’s 5 reasons why, after watching Batman v Superman, Superman fans will be filling their handkerchiefs with snot, tears, and utter disappointment.

1. Despite learning how to wear his Underoos UNDER his ridiculous uniform, Superman hasn’t learned any new tricks that would put a scratch on the god who is Batman.


Superman is a poop-head!

2. NEWS FLASH! This is actually a dream sequence. Batman would never allow these shenanigans!

3. While DC denies claims that they cut a lot of Superman out of the movie, they admit that they added, “a lot more Batman” to set up the next movie…..

(So basically, it’s just another Batman movie).

4. We will never trust a man who gets naked in public places!

Superman may not fair well in Superman v Batman!
Keep your clothes on!


5. Because… Batman! Do you need any more reasons???

Batman is SOOO much cooler than Superman!



  1. Batman is a joke he would loose to any real SUPERHERO. The villains he fights are a joke! HATERS of Superman have no imagination and are foolish to think a guy with a few tricks in his belt could stand against the GREATEST SUPERHERO OF ALL TIME!

    • Okay, this was one of the most ridiculous articles I’ve ever read, so let’s get to it…

      1) Superman has put more than a scratch on Batman many times. All he really has to do is flick him in the mouth and he wins. Plus, Batman wore his underwear on the outside for a long time, but Superman haters are, of course, willfully blind so let’s move on.

      2) NEWS FLASH! No Superman fan was rooting for that to be anything BUT a dream sequence. Superman is the guy who’s all compassionate and stuff, so in earlier footage, some of us were actually worried that he might start a regime a-la the Justice Lords or alternate realm in “Injustice.”

      3) What was meant was that he gets more screen time because they’re recapping Batman’s origin to establish that it’s a separate continuity from the Dark Knight trilogy.

      4) Even ignoring the fact that Superman has rarely changed in a phone booth in his history, he’s NEVER been portrayed as getting naked to do so. Your point = fail.

      5) Yeah, I’d like a reason for how Batman fans think they’re so intellectual but it all just boils down to pot shots and catch-phrases.


    • oh my god…. I lmao when I read your comment Jeremy. it’s cute for you superman fans to think that batman wouldn’t last against any superhero. If you had watched Justice league doom, you would of discovered that batman know ever hero’s weakness in the DC universe + superman is overpowered. I mean wtf is with the writers giving supes new powers, but, he’ll always have one weakness: kryptonite.

      • People fail to remember that although it is not a “Superpower” his intellect is far beyond supermans boyscout nature. I concur Batman will top any Superhero. With out using super powers

  2. Agreed. But batman will win because despite popular belief he does have a superpower, super popularity, and that’s how he’ll win.

  3. At first I thought the author was serious, by point 3 I learned he knew nothing about SM and this article is just some for fun. Batman.. Superior? ….Pretty funny 🙂

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