Showtime, A-holes: It’s the First Trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

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Showtime, A-holes: It's the First Trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Play THIS while beating back alien armadas spilling out of the Cancerverse.

It’s official: Baby Groot is the cutest sentient tree toddler in the universe. Wait, scratch that — the Multiverse (and we can say that without sounding like pompous, comic-smart snobs since Doctor Strange introduced it into the MCU). In the very first, full-length trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, we get the whole darn gang fighting giant aliens, alien soldiers, and alien armadas across gloriously painted alien landscapes filled to the cosmic brim with….yes, aliens.

And, behind the scenes of all this necessary alien fighting is Rocket, who’s trying very hard to explain the appropriate mechanics of igniting personal Atomic devices to the aforementioned, very-eager-to-press-the-wrong-button Baby Groot.

And look! It’s Mantis! If she touches you, she’ll feel your feelings! What are you feeling now? Love! Sexual love! And no, she shouldn’t have shared your feelings with the person who makes you feel these feelings! Of course, your embarrassment is comical fodder for Drax the Destroyer, who demands, boisterously, an opportunity to be equally embarrassed.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. effectively pisses off the Nova Corps on May 5th, 2017, starring Chris Pratt (Peter Quill/Star-Lord), Zoe Saldana (Gamora, daughter of Thanos), Dave Bautista (Drax the Destroyer), Bradley Cooper (Rocket Raccoon), Vin Diesel (Groot), Michael Rooker (Yondu) Karen Gillian (Nebula), Nathan Fillion (Simon Williams), Kurt Russel (Ego) and Sylvester Stallone as…uh…

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