10 Reasons Why Aquaman DOESN’T Suck

4
2032

10 Reasons Why Aquaman Doesn't SuckApparently, bashing on Aquaman is the hip thing to do these days. What gives, people? What the !#% gives??? In defense of our sovereign of the sea, we’ve compiled this list of our top 10 reasons why Aquaman does NOT suck. Read on and learn…something.

For Aquaman, every week is Shark Week.
For Aquaman, every week is Shark Week.

 

Aquaman doesn’t just, “talk to the fishies”, he commands sharks, whales, and aquatic monstrosities like no one else.  That would include things like Krakens, Narwhals and Cthulhu. What more needs to be said?

 

 

 

 

 

Hooks are cool!
Hooks are cool!

Aquaman loses a hand? Whaaaa? Even more awesome (because yes, appendage misplacement is awesome): in the comics, Aquaman loses his hand after Charybdis steals his ability to command sea life (see Reason #1 Why Aquaman Doesn’t Suck), who then summons a school of piranha to eat it off. In the animated series, he’s shackled to the side of an underwater ravine, and in an act of unbridled fatherly desperation (with maybe just a pinch of psychosis), he cuts off his own freaking hand to save the life of his son. His own. Freaking. Hand. So yeah, what’s tougher than a hook hand?

He's buff!
He’s buff!

Aquaman has superhuman strength. Aquaman is almost as powerful out of water as he is in water, and that’s saying something.

He's tough!
He’s tough!

Aquaman also has superhuman durability. He lives many leagues under the sea, meaning his skin is perpetually set upon by 1000’s of pounds of pressure per square inch!! AAHH! This makes Aquaman nearly invulnerable, and that’s something, too!

He moves so fast it says "THOOOM."
He moves so fast it says “THOOOM.”

And what would Aquaman be without his superhuman speed and reflexes?!? Move over Michael Phelps; Aquaman is the fastest swimmer on the planet. He’s been clocked at speeds upwards of 1000 knots in the water. This ability to move ridiculously fast through water has given him amazing reflexes on both land and sea. #crosstraining

What's more ballin' than a throne made of squid-people skulls?
What’s more ballin’ than a throne made of squid-people skulls?

Aquaman is the freakin’ king of a hidden and thought-to-be-lost empire, commanding a brutally efficient and technologically superior military. His domain encompasses the entirety of the world’s oceans which, last time I looked, contains way more real estate than what any land based hero has ever laid claim to. Eat that, landlubber!

Tridents:  Great underwater and for news team battles.
Tridents: Great underwater and for news team battles.

When you think of cool superhero weapons, most people think of Thor’s hammer, but Aquaman’s Trident of Neptune is pretty kick-ass. The trident is both indestructible and magical, giving him the right (and the means) to rule the Seven Seas. With it, he can manipulate water, control the weather, shoot out energy bolts, and project force-fields. You know you want one.

He's great for a game of shirts and scales.
He’s great for a game of shirts and scales.

Aquaman is able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Yup, Aquaman. He can’t fly, but while on land he can jump long distances without all that heavy water weighing him down. Superman who?

This graphic should be a reason all on it's own:  "He punched Superman"
This graphic should be a reason all on it’s own: “He punched Superman”

 

 

Aquaman is an expert fighter and has helped train the Justice League as well as his own undersea army. That’s right, I said “helped train the Justice League” and “undersea army.”

He is pretty...what's the word...oh!  Outrageous!!!
He is pretty…what’s the word…oh! Outrageous!!!

 

 

Last, but certainly not least: He is, without a doubt…. Outrageous!

 

 

 

That’s it for our 10 Reasons Why Aquaman Doesn’t Suck. Still think Aquaman stinks? Have any reasons we missed? Let us know below and while you’re here, don’t forget to check out SuperHeroStuff.com for some sweet Aquaman merchandise.  Outrageous!

4 COMMENTS

  1. Namor is still better!

    Also, you didn’t defend his riding shotgun to Wonder Woman, holding her lasso, waxing the invisible jet, and riding a jet ski while supposedly being super fast in the water. (Humor implied)

    • The Submariner! We love that guy too. A little angry at times but still pretty awesome. Haha, yeah, well, let’s just pretend that stuff didn’t happen when we read this article 😉

  2. I still have a hard time taking Aquaman seriously, but that’s because my mental image of Aquaman is the “Brave and the Bold” version, and an Aquaman who isn’t OUTRAGEOUSly over the top just doesn’t have the same charm for me.

    • I get that Aquaman hasn’t been represented fairly, and DC is very much to blame for that. However, in the comics, they’ve been trying for years to make him more potent as a serious, conflicted, extremely powerful Class A superhero. That’s what we’re going to be getting in BvS, and I can’t wait.

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