New Super Bowl 50 X-Men: Apocalypse Trailer

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It’s the NEW new X-Men: Apocalypse trailer rudely asserting its genetic superiority and interrupting that whole sports-ball thing commonly referred to as…Super Bowl 50. Because of this, and to avoid trailer-confusion, I’m dubbing this particular trailer the Super Bowl 50 X-Men: Apocalypse trailer. See how easy we’re making it?

Apocalypse, the very first mutant in recorded (but mostly spoken) history, has returned. Is he happy with how his ‘descendants’ fare in this glistening, neon-slathered modern age (the 1980s)?? No, he is NOT. His response to the undue treatment of supremely powered beings meant to sit upon pedestals beyond the concerns of mankind? It’s quite simple, really: to enact mankind’s end-times as his namesake effectively portends. Oh, and continuing with Biblical themes, he’s going to recruit his noble, furiously empowered Four Horseman. Good grief, mankind is seriously ‘effed.

I mean, just look at the maelstrom of wholesale destruction being wrought by Apocalypse and his devastatingly disagreeable disciples; they’re plying the elements and raining concrete hell on an ill-prepared, ofttimes unworthy humanity. And holy CRAP! Psylocke just flipped 75 feet in the air and cleaved your mother’s sedan in twain! AAH!

X-Men: Apocalypse debuts May 27th, directed by Apocalypse who forces all his human actors to kneel before the relentless, murderous, arbitrary wave of genetic super-evolution!!

CLEANSE OUR WORLD, MIGHTY APOCALYPSE! MAKE US BETTER THROUGH ACTS OF MERCIFUL, GLOBAL GENOCIDE!

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