Well, here it is; the oft-promised-but-never-delivered-until-NOW Thor: Ragnarok teaser trailer!
After the trailer played, a co-worker turned to me and asked, “So, are you ready for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.5?” At first, I thought he was completely mad, but then I went through the following checklist in my checklist-enabled brain:
Does it take place in space? Check.
Does it boast neon-colored, 80s-inspired logos and other familiar, arcade game aesthetics? Check.
Is the soundtrack comprised of 70’s rock? I would say, “check,” considering Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song” blares ferociously as the Thor: Ragnarok teaser trailer unspools its Kirby-drawn, unabashedly neon pink narrative.
But we’re okay with all of the above, because the film looks AMAZING!
Hela? We were afraid she wouldn’t adorn her comic-accurate, ornately horned head-piece. We’re no longer afraid. Well, of a terribly translated, comic-accurate headpiece. Unfortunately, we’re VERY AFRAID of her appearance since those crazy branch-horns are GROWING OUT OF HER FREAKING SKULL! EEEEWWWW!
And then she destroys all of Asgard, apparently, and also, perhaps, Thor’s hammer. What? Yes.
And then the Odinson is a space-faring thunder god, ending up on a terribly challenging planet where the Grandmaster (Jeff Goldblum) forces him to take place in gladiatorial contests.
Oh, look! It’s the Hulk! Whew! Thor and Hulk? They work together. Thor can simply team up with the jolly green giant and escape toge….
Oh. Maybe not.
Directed by Taika Waititi, Thor: Ragnarok debuts November 3rd, 2017, starring Chris Hemsworth (Thor), Tom Hiddleston (Loki), Idris Elba (Heimdall), Sir Anthony Hopkins (Odin), Tessa Thompson (Valkyrie), Karl Urban (Skurge), Mark Ruffalo (Hulk), with Jeff Goldblum (Grandmaster) and Cate Blanchett (Hela).