We’ve made it guys; Captain America: Civil War opens this week! So, to get you even more stoked for this epic event, I’ve decided to spend the week breaking down the matchups between Team Cap and Team Iron Man. Each team has six members, so I’ve paired them off in ways that make thematic sense to me. Up first? How about the bug guys. That’s right, our first tale of the tape is Ant-Man vs. Spider-Man.

Let’s Get It On!

Civil War Tale of the Tape: Ant-Man vs. Spider-Man
It’s Ant-Man!

Ant-Man

  • Real Name: Scott Lang
  • Occupation: Reformed Thief
  • Movies:1
  • Played by: Paul Rudd
  • Powers: Ability to communicate with and control ants. Ability to shrink to subatomic size.
Civil War Tale of the Tape: Ant-Man vs. Spider-Man
Spider-Man Fan poster courtesy of BossLogic.

Spider-Man

  • Real Name: Peter Parker
  • Occupation: Photojournalist/student
  • Movies: Five
  • Played by: Tom Holland
  • Powers: Enhanced speed and strength. Ability to stick to walls. Spider-sense. Web-shooters.

Has there been a more nerdgasm-inducing moment in recent memory than when Spider-Man showed up in the Civil War trailer??

Not even close.

As great as that moment was, it’s time for him to put his webs where his mouth is.  Wait…he doesn’t have a mouth…in his mask.

You know what I mean.

Pairing off Ant-Man and Spider-Man seems pretty obvious, and yes, I know spiders are arachnids and not insects.

Still, the characters are thematically linked so let’s see how this one shakes out.

First of all, let’s look at the powers. Ant-Man can shrink and, if trailers and rumors are to be believed, he can grow as well. That’s right, there are Giant-Man rumors. So, he gets big.  He gets small. How does Spidey respond? Well, he’s got the proportional strength and speed of a spider. He’s stronger than Ant-Man. He’s faster than Ant-Man. He’s also got Spider-Sense. That thing will go off like a firehouse alarm when/if Ant-Man goes into giant mode.

Advantage: Spider-Man

Next, how about the gear? Spider-Man has his famous web-shooters; they allow him to swing between skyscrapers and tie up his opponents, and they’re one of the most famous pieces of hero-gear of all time. Ant-Man, on the other hand, has his helmet. The helmet allows him to control ants to use as weapons and/or vehicles. My inclination here is that ants, based solely on quantity, give Ant-Man the advantage. Ants clog up the nozzles and Spidey is weaponless.

Advantage: Ant-Man

Finally, with these two, we’ve got to look at wisecracks. Spider-Man is famous for cracking wise in the middle of a slug-fest. It’s almost like a mutant power for him. Ant-Man wasn’t know for being a smart-aleck until Paul Rudd was cast in the role. Then, suddenly, Ant-Man is making like Spidey. In this case, you have to go with the original.

Advantage: Spider-Man

So, when the smoke from the Civil War is over, I expect to see Spider-Man standing tall.  Ant-Man may give him a run for his money, but you can’t count out the original.

WINNER:  SPIDER-MAN

Tomorrow’s Civil War Tale of the Tape?

Hawkeye vs. Black Panther.

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